23: Growing Up, Growing Older

Back in NJ again, and with snow to greet me. For a little bit I was appreciating it more, just because I've spent the past month surrounded by folks who don't see snow that often. Reminded me of the Irish in a way. But now that I'm here, and there's snow on the ground, I'm less enthusiastic as I would have hoped. It's snow, and there's only so many snowmen one can build, especially when one left her snowboots back in VA where they are clearly needed. By my closet.

I'm staying mostly at my father's during this vacation, due to my triumphant return to Lush (where the new people greet me as 'OooooO. You're Courtney.' (I feel like a superstar. Albeit, one with little money and a whole lot of ridiculous). Although the tenuous aspects of living here are still here, more than ever I feel at home where I am. I don't know if it was the little moments I spent putting up old posters and new scarves so that my room looks lived in, or merely a side effect of so many homes in so many years- it's a bit like that line from Buckaroo Bonzai "wherever you go, there you are."

22: Spider Bites

I find myself eaten partially by spiders. I hope it results in super powers, so this itchiness is not just a wasted adventure into cortisone cream. Other than that, I'm working through the end of the school year- papers mostly. Which has featured me holed up in my home with friends, chai, movies and fortbuilding excursions. Productivity is an added benefit. Did I mention there's beer? There's beer.

It's a good weekend.

21: Bombay Blast

I came downstairs to write my papers. But my battery is half gone and all I can do is read more about the terrorist attacks in Mumbay, stare at the Flickr streams and read the Twitter streams, feed the squeaky toy back to my dog just so she leaves my computer alone and I have another minute to keep reading. Dear God. Dear dear God.

20: Had the most intense dream

last night (that's what I get for watching 'Rescue Dawn') and realized, a few minutes before really waking/alarm going off, that the dream couldn't be real. The 70s did not have the Internet, or Gmail chat, no matter how advanced proto-Communist countries might have been. I guess that's what I get for living way too much through Gmail chat lately, and applying labels to everything and then changing the color of those labels, the background to my email. Too easily you have won me over Google! I have not yet begun to fight!

19: In Love

Must memorize this poem for tomorrow. Made easier by being in love with it.

This Lunar Beauty
W.H Auden

This lunar beauty
Has no history,
Is complete and early;
If beauty later
Bear any feature
It had a lover
And is another.

This like a dream
Keeps other time,
And daytime is
The loss of this;
For time is inches
And the heart's changes
Where ghost has haunted,
Lost and wanted.

But this was never
A ghost's endeavor,
Nor, finished this,
Was ghost at ease;
And till it pass
Love shall not near
The sweetness here
Nor sorrow take
His endless look.

18: the Remnants of Yesterday

On my second mug of tea (mango black, for those interested in that sort of thing) and picking through the fourth chapter of the Book. I want to hole up and read Hemingway, and Fitzgerald and write, and kill all these goddamn flies that are not taking the bait I so cleverly left in the kitchen. I want to be back in Galway, I'm wondering if I have the money for the flight and the room to write, if I could convince NFAA to grant me the money to have the time to write, though I don't think that's quite the point of those alumni grants. Worth a shot though, yes?

17: What I Do When Sick

• Clean (the kitchen, vaccuum the downstairs, laundry; I'm fighting the fruit flies, but they seem to be winning. Funny how we never had this problem in Ireland though our common areas much more resembled a squat then here. Must have been all the alcohol, killing anything and everything but twenty-somethings)
• Sleep (epic proportions)
• Eat soup. Eat mac n cheese. Sleep. Repeat
• Watch the Daily Show and badmovieswithAshleySimpsonthatoneexpectswillturntomusicals, and listen as my laughter turns to hacking. Priceless, really. How am I still single when I am just short of spitting soup through my nose?
• Think about doing homework, but instead just go to sleep because damn it, I'm sick.